My Hands Still Remember You …….

Pam and Carl Fisher in memory of Amber

The first time I touched you, I remember reaching awkwardly into the incubator and touching your arm shyly with one finger.  You were my first and I was not sure how to respond.  After that one brief exchange, they whisked you off to another hospital equipped to handle your special needs.

Bringing you home two months later, carrying you into a room that waited patiently (unlike your parents).  We were so excited.

Lathering your hair and brushing the curling ends tirelessly, when we were through with bath time.  You always wanted more.

Wiping the drool from your tiny mouth and chin;  waiting for that first tooth.

The coldness of metal hospital cribs under my arms, as I leaned on them during your many stays.  A cold cage for such a warm child.

Dressing you in pretty clothes, so Daddy could lavish you with compliments and hold his smiling girl proudly.  He was always so impressed.

Standing behind your wheelchair during our outings and bending over and cupping you under the chin and planting kisses on your pudgy cheeks.  You raised your arms to be loved by us.

Pressing my fingers on your chest, in counts of five, trying to bring back your heartbeat, while Daddy tried to breathe life into your still warm body.

Rocking you in my arms when they handed you to me, after the battle was lost.  Daddy went home and brought back some clothes for you to wear because you were now cold, and we still needed to protect you from getting sick, even though we knew you would never be sick again.

Arranging the toys we had selected to surround you, in your new bed of white satin.

Kneeling down and stroking your angelic features, memorizing every curve of the face and form I can never forget.

                                                My hands remember you  -  still

                                                                                                            

Caring Concepts, Winter ‘91

OUR   FOREVER   BABY

Adapted from it’s American counterpart, TCF SA has produced a loving and meaningful memory book for parents who experience the tragedy of pregnancy loss, stillbirth or neonatal death.  If you would like one for yourself, or know someone who would find it comforting, you can order from Eve, TCF PE  The cost is R20 each whilst stocks last.